Letters to the Marauders
by pupparoux
Summary: The Marauders attempt to plot devious things...but are interupted by mysterous letters. ONly updated on a strange basis, like when the thought strikes me.
1. Chapter One: If You were Stranded

**Ok so I got the idea for this from my friend Marie. She thought it would be a fun idea to have the readers ask the Marauders questions and have them give answers. So this is the product. I hope you all like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter, though I wish I did. For if I did, then I would be a very very rich person.**

**Chapter One: If You Were Stranded on a Deserted Desert Island**…

James, Sirius, and Peter sat at a table in the common room trying to concentrate on their charms homework, while Lily, Molly, Marie and Remus watched. James and Sirius were having particular trouble focusing on their work because of the girls sitting in front of them, grinning madly because they had already finished their homework and were not willing to help them. Lily was sitting across form James and next to Molly who was across from Sirius. Marie and Remus were at the head of the table, their faces close together, bent over a piece of parchment.

"C'mon Lily! Please?" Asked James, looking frustrated, looking at his charm work. His quill was suspended in mid-air and dripping ink onto his blank parchment.

"Nope." Said Lily. She turned back to Molly and they once again, began animatedly discussing the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend. "So, I think we should first stop at…"

"Pretty please?" interrupted James.

"Nope." Said Lily again with a sigh. Lily turned back to Molly, "anyways…"

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?" He looked imploringly at Lily.

Lily faltered as she looked at James's face, she just couldn't refuse that face. She looked at Molly for support.

Molly turned to face James and Sirius. "James how are you going to learn if Lily gives you the answers?" She asked, looking quizzically at James.

"Well, Molly darling, James would learn the same way I do when you let me copy notes." He fixed his dark stare on Molly, his eyes boring into hers. He smiled and continued, once he knew Molly was under his powerful trance. "By…"

There was a sharp tap on the glass on the window next to the fireplace. They all looked over, questioningly.

A brown owl sat on the window ledge, a large letter tied to its leg.

Everyone at the table looked around at each other. There shouldn't be an owl delivering mail now, it was far too late. Who could the letter be for? Now there was a question…

Molly got up from her chair and went to the window, Sirius got up at the same time and followed her, lengthening his stride to catch up with her. They reached the window at the same time, and their hands collided as they each reached for the latch to open the window. There was a brief scuffle, Molly knocked Sirius' hand out of the way, Sirius looked smilingly down at her, then her picked her up and moved her behind him so she couldn't get to the window.

"Hey!" cried Molly, smacking Sirius and trying to get around him.

Sirius calmly opened the window, let the owl hop into the room and closed the window. The he turned around to face Molly.

"You!" she exclaimed, a small smile on her lips and a glint in her eye. Sirius slowly walked up to her, cocking his head to one side.

"Me," he asked stepping closer.

"What are you doing?" Molly asked. "Get away…"

Sirius closed the space between them and enveloped Molly in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around, saying, "MOLLYKINS!" as though he had just seen her for the first time in a year. Molly began saying incomprehensible things into Sirius's shoulder and trying, very half-heartedly, to get free.

Everyone laughed. Those two…

The owl had hopped over to the table by the time Molly and Sirius had gotten back to the table and sat down.

James untied the letter from the owls' leg.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "It's addressed to the Marauders, and the Their Girls!" He looked around at everyone sitting at the table. They all had the same expression that he was wearing, disbelief.

"Oh no…" said Sirius. "I knew this would happen! STALKERS!" He looked significantly at Remus, James and Peter. The boys all looked at each other with darkly significant looks. Sirius continued, "Ever since we went to America for that holiday, I was just waiting for this to…"

Lily, Molly and Marie snorted. "Stalkers…" they laughed, "from America…" They laughed still harder. "For you?" They fell off their chairs and onto the floor, clutching their stomachs.

"Laugh if you will, but open the letter to see if it is true." Said James.

Lily reached up from the floor and took the letter from James. She looked at the scrawl on the front, it was loopy and there were hearts and other such details on the outside. She wrinkled her nose.

"Well, it's definitely from a girl..." said Lily.

"Even if it is a stalker…" started Marie.

"Try, at least five," muttered Remus.

"O…k. How would they know about us?" finished Molly.

"The world has its spies!" said Peter in a very dark way.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Well, they do," he squeaked, going red.

Lily opened the envelope and pulled out a very thick piece of folded parchment. Molly and Marie were staring over her shoulder. She unfolded the letter and read aloud.

"'Dear James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, HI! We are your BIGGEST fans!' … Oh please!" exclaimed Lily, rolling her eyes and looking at Molly and Marie, who were shaking their heads.

"SEE! I told you." Said Sirius.

"STALKERS!" exclaimed James

"Oh don't be so dramatic." Said Remus, looking amused. "They just said they were our biggest fans…not that they were going to, oh I don't know, fly up here, kidnap us and then force us to marry them."

"'We are a variety of girls, ages sixteen to twenty, who would LOVE for you to marry us.'" Said Lily, who had continued to scan the letter. "Geesh…" Lily looked up at James. "Well if they want you THAT badly, I guess they can have you."

"Lils?" asked James. "You'd let the crazy fan girls have me?" he paused to see what Lily would say. When she didn't say anything he looked a little scared. "You wouldn't…"

"Well..."said Lily, looking at the letter again. "It does say that if any of your girls get in the way, we will take them down…so yea I think I'm going to let them have you."

"Us too," said Marie and Molly.

"HEY!" cried Sirius and Remus, indignantly.

"WHAT?" asked the girls together, looking at Sirius and Remus. "You're the one's who are always saying all for one."

"You don't care that we're going to be…be…" gulped Sirius.

"Oh you don't have to worry about the crazy girls just yet, boys." Said Molly looking over Lily's shoulder.

"Really?" Asked Sirius, James, Remus and Peter. "Why?"

"Well, because. They haven't worked out the location to Hogwarts yet." Finished Molly, lamely.

"SALVATION!" shouted Sirius, punching the air.

"Wait, there's more," said Lily.

"There's more?" everyone except Lily and Molly asked in unison.

"Yeah. There're questions for us."

"Questions?" asked Sirius, his eyes narrowing. "What kind of questions?"

"Well, ok here's one for all of us. If you were trapped on a deserted desert Island, and could only have one item dropped down to you via helicopter, what would it be?" Lily looked up at Molly, Marie, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter.

"Wait…"said Peter, slowly. "What's a helicopter?"

"Isn't it a brand of pickles or something?" asked James, running a hand distractedly through his hair. "Wait…flying pickles?" His brow furrowed.

"No, no, no, Prongsie." Sirius said with a smile. "It's one of those mega muggle police officers! You know…Those Hella Cop…ters…?"

Remus looked over at his friends, smacked his head with his hand and then looked at the girls who were laughing uncontrollably.

"I'm not even going to try to explain this one…" said Remus, exasperatedly.

"What is soooo funny?" asked James. "I bet you three don't know what a heli-thingie is!"

"Ok boys, quick muggle lesson." Said Molly through her tears of mirth. "A…giggle snort a giggle A helicopter is a muggle flying machine that is used to airlift people and/or supplies to people who need them."

There was a collective comprehensive "ohhhhhhhh" from Sirius, James and Peter.

"So," asked Lily. "What would you bring James?"

"Well…I think I would want my wand." Said James slowly, thinking it out. "That way, I could conjure what ever I need, food, clothes, shelter, light…whatever."

"Good one, Prongsie! You were always the practical one." said Sirius, grinning.

"Ok, Remus, what would you have dropped down to you?" asked Marie.

"I think I would have a huge crate of books dropped down to me; one with every subject that I enjoy. That way I could read and read about everything and never be board."

"Ah, Mooney, always the thinker..." sighed Sirius, looking pensive.

"Peter?" asked Lily kindly, "what would you have brought to you?"

"Me?" asked Peter. "What would I have dropped to me….I think I would have a huge crate filled with chocolate dropped to me."

"Ah Peter…"exclaimed Sirius, "always thinking…with his stomach." Sirius grinned and Peter turned red.

"I would bring my wand," said Marie, thinking hard. "That does seem like the best and most practical choice." She nodded to James.

"Simple yet effective…" said James.

"I would bring…" started Lily, thinking hard. "Ok, I never thought I would say this, I guess I have to agree with James on this one. My wand."

James nodded. "See Lily? I told you I could be smart."

"Mmmmhhmmm." Lily said looking at James. "And I never doubted you, darling." She said in a most unconvincing voice.

"I think I would have a crate of books and food, clothing, water, sunscreen, sunglasses, my wand, books, and hunting supplies dropped down to me," said Molly. "That way I could conjure what I needed and still have books. I love books."

"Hey no fair, she can't have all that. That's like everything!" exclaimed James.

"Yes," observed Lily. "But it is in only one crate…"

Everyone laughed.

"Hey hey, way to combine!" said Remus. "Nice choice with the books…"

Molly smiled at him.

"She's going outside the parameter of the question.." started James.

"Oh no she isn't." Started Sirius. "The question said 'If you could only have one item dropped down to…" It was only one thing, a crate. Just because it was filled with her house, doesn't mean she cheated." Said Sirius wisely.

"Fine…she's just too smart. Thinking outside of the box like…" muttered James. He was just mad he didn't think of it.

There was only one who hasn't answered yet…Sirius.

"So if James is the practical one," said Marie. "Remus is the thinker, Peter is the thinker with his stomach…what does that make Sirius?"

Everyone looked his way.

"Well, Marie-y-kins, I'll tell ye what that makes me. I think I would ask to have someone dropped down to me." He looked at Molly. "That way I wouldn't be alone, I would have someone to talk to, and I could spend my life with that someone I like to be with."

There was a girlie "AWWWWWWW!" from Marie and Lily as they looked from Sirius to Molly. "That's sooooooooooo sweeet and romantic." Sirius grinned and Molly turned a lovely flaming red and looked at the floor.

James, Peter and Remus were doing wolf whistles.

"No, Seriously!" Sirius grinned. "Siriusly… We could always build a shelter, and find food, and make clothing. But you can't always find someone to talk too! That you like to talk to! And not to mention a person that is very pretty and sweet and… STOP LAUGHING!" Sirius fumed, looking at his laughing, half-wit friends.

"Oh we all know why you want someone dropped down to you…and it doesn't involve talking…" said Peter snidely, looking Molly up and down, raising his eyebrows suggestively and then looked slyly to Sirius.

"Why you little," said Sirius standing up. But it was Molly who needed to be restrained. She stood up and was heading toward Peter with a murderous glint in her eye, but Sirius caught her around the middle and stopped her from reaching him. She struggled against Sirius' arms, glaring at Peter, and eventually gave up and flopped in Sirius' vacated chair, fuming.

Lily walked over to James and smacked him as hard as she could in the arm.

"Ow!" exclaimed James. "What in the name of Merlin was that for?" He asked rubbing his arm and looking Lily in the eye.

"Why didn't you want me dropped to you?" She asked.

"I was thinking with my head, not with my…" James paused as Sirius glared at him. "Uh…my, heart." Finished James cautiously. "Can I change my answer?" he asked the room at large.

"Nope," said Remus.

"Fine," pouted James.

"Hmmmmphm," said Marie, evidently thinking.

"Uh oh…" said Remus. "That is never a good sound, when coming from Marie." He looked at her.

She was holding the letter now.

"There's some more writing at the bottom here."

"Oh oH!" exclaimed Lily. "What does it say? Is it another question? The last one was fun…sort of."

Molly glared at Peter, as did Sirius. Lily and Marie looked wistfully at Sirius and then glared at their boyfriends; and James and Remus threw slight glares at Sirius for making their helicopter answers seem like they didn't care. But it was all in good fun and they knew it.

"Ok, it says," Marie cleared her throat dramatically and shook the letter slightly. Then she read aloud, "We were going to put another question in here but we wanted you to finish that one first. We will send you another letter tomorrow, at the same time. It will contain another question that we hope you will have fun answering. Thank you. Love and kisses and hugs, and ex-oh-ex-oh-ex-oh-ex-oh," Marie paused and sighed, "Etcetera etcetera, etcetera. Signed The Lovely American Girls who idolize you, the Marauders."

"Oh no not another letter from them…" sighed Sirius.

"Well I guess there's nothing to do now but wait until tomorrow." Sighed Remus. "I wonder what they'll ask us next…"

There was silence around the room as everyone pondered what the next question could be.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…….."

**Ok well that's it for now! I know it's not the best I've ever written but whatever, it's just for fun. Anyway! I hope you like it. Leave me a review with QUESTIONS YOU WANT THE MARAUDERS TO ANSWER! Ok.**

**Thank you. And until next time**

**Keep a sharp eye ;)**

**Pupparoux**


	2. Chapter Two: What is Your Favortite Ch

**Chapter two: What is your Favorite Christmas Song…But Here's The Catch **

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the castle

Not a student was stirring…well almost.

In the Gryffindor Common room seven students were stirring. Lily, James, Marie, Remus, Molly, Sirius and Peter were all sitting by the fire talking amongst themselves.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had decided to make themselves s'mores and were currently roasting marshmallows over the merrily crackling flames of the fire, as Lily, Marie and Molly watched.

Sirius placed another marshmallow on the stick he was holding and lowered it to the fire. Lily was giggling with Marie and Molly and telling them, him a hushed voice what she had gotten James. Marie and Molly already knew of course, but Lily liked to make James squirm and wonder what it could be. James was staring a little too intently at his slowly browning marshmallow, listening as stealthily as he could to catch Lily's every word. Remus sat munching happily on a piece of chocolate that he was supposed to be using for his s'more and stealing quick glances at Marie that were becoming increasingly longer and longer. Peter was gobbling a triple-decker s'more that he had just made, and was making a complete sticky mess of himself.

Another night among friends. No worries, no cares, no…_letters._

That's when the knock to the window came…

Everyone looked over to the window. Outside, on the windowsill, it's back hunched against the blistering wind and flurry of snow, sat an owl. And on it's leg was tied….a letter.

Molly got up and walked to the window.

"Don't do it!" said James, jumping up. "Maybe if we ignore them they'll stop coming."

"Aw. But the last one was fun!" said Marie, playfully pouting and looking toward Remus. Remus had been looking at her lat moment too and both blushed as their eyes met and looked away.

"And why would they stop sending them?" asked Lily. "You didn't respond. For all the writer's know, you could have chucked it into the fire."

"The woman's got a point Prongsie," smiled Sirius.

Molly retrieved the note and walked back over to the group. She flopped down into an empty spot on the couch, well what would have been an empty spot, had Sirius not jumped in the way. Molly just sat on him instead, which was, after all, what he had wanted. Molly looked to Sirius and shook her head. Sirius grinned toothily and handed her a smore that he had just made for her. She took it and bit into it, smiling.

Molly opened the envelope, pulled out the letter, cleared her throat and read:

"_Dear the great ones: James, Sirius, Remus and Peter,_

_We, your faithful fan following, would like to wish you all a Happy Christmas on behalf of our little group."_

Molly looked up at Marie and Lily, who both snorted, and then she continued.

"_All 663 of us would like you to know that the only thing we would like for Christmas is…" _

Molly paused, scrunching her nose. "These people are complete and utter twits!" she said. "I can't read this anymore," and she passed the letter to Sirius, who continued reading.

"_All we want for Christmas is…" _he paused too, looking at the letter and blanched._ "Are you."_

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter all shared a dark look, the girls were in hysterics, and Sirius continued. "_But since we cannot seem to locate you at this time…but it will only be a matter of time…we would like to ask you: What are your favorite Christmas Songs."_

"Well that's not very thought provoking," said Peter.

"But wait there's more," continued Sirius.

"There's more!" everyone minus Sirius asked.

"Yes. There's a catch. We have to say the name of the song without…naming the song. For example. One of their favorites is 'Oh Yuletide tall woody plant'" Sirius grinned. "Any guesses as to what song that is."

"Oh Yuletide tall woody plant'?" mouthed Lily in disbelief. "That is completely mental!"

"No it's not!" said Remus. "It's a game, a word puzzle."

"Oh no! But we're on break!" cried Marie.

"Yea!" Peter.

"Oh Christmas Tree!" shouted Molly, surprising everyone with her outburst.

"Huh?" asked James. "What are you on about."

" The song! The song is Oh Christmas Tree!" Molly repeated, looking from James to Sirius to see if she was right. Sirius looked down at the paper and nodded.

"Yup. Oh Christmas tree it is."

"Ok so I'll go first," said Remus, thoroughly enjoying this game so far. He thought for a second and then a smile spread slowly across his face and his eyes lit up. "C_astanea _seed desiccated in the conflagration." He said.

Lily, James, Sirius, Molly, Marie, and Peter's faces dropped.

"Eh?" asked Marie.

"_Castanea _seed desiccated in the conflagration, that's my favorite Christmas song. So what's the real title?" Asked Remus, grinned ever more broadly.

James was mouthing '_Castanea _seed desiccated in the conflagration' then he shook his head.

"Oh you! You cwazy!' said Peter, shaking his head too.

Molly giggled.

Marie really wanted to sort this out. Her brow was furrowed and she was thinking hard, and then…the thought hit her!

"Chestnuts roasting on an open FIRE!" she said jumping up and down.

"YEA!" cried Remus spring up too. Marie ran to him and hugged him, both of them jumping up and down.

"Well if you're going to be all technical about it, why don't we discuss the Tranquility on the Terrestrial Sphere?" asked James, grinning.

Lily looked at him, so did Sirius, Molly and Peter. Marie and Remus were still jumping about.

"That's your song?" asked Lily.

"Yes," replied James.

"Peace on Earth is your favorite Christmas song?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yup!" said James. "That one was too easy."

"I would have thought it would have been Embellish the Interior passageways!"

"DECK THE HALLS!" shrieked Molly and Sirius together.

Lily grinned and nodded.

Peter looked up, "Ok I've got one! Frozen Precipitation commence!" he looked at everyone in the room.

Then Remus said, from behind Marie in a muffled voice, "Let it snow!"

Marie looked over at Molly and said, "Ok get this one. Antlered quadruped Valentino namesake with the Vermillion Proboscis…" She grinned in a very self-satisfied way.

"Hmmmmmmm……" Molly thought. "Rudolf the red-nose reindeer?" she asked.

"YES!" shrieked Marie, running to Molly, pulling her up from on top of Sirius and tackling her in a hug.

"Ok ok ok!" said Sirius, pulling Marie off of Molly, helping Molly up and then pulling her back toward him. "My turn! Jovial Yuletide desired for the second person or plural, by us." he said, nuzzling Molly's shoulder.

Everyone gaped at Sirius.

"woah…" said Lily.

"Who knew Sirius knew those words?" asked Marie, astounded.

"HEY!' cried Sirius indignantly. "I only pretend to be dumb so Molly with help me."

"Oh ho! The truth comes out!" said Molly, looking coyly over her shoulder at Sirius. Sirius reddened slightly.

"it all fits now…" said Lily and Marie.

"ooops. Sirius you just dug yourself into a hole," said Peter, grinning.

Remus and James were laughing.

"Have yourself a Merry little Christmas!" said Molly.

"yesh," said Sirius.

"So that means Mollykins is the only one left! What be your favorite Christmas song, me dear?" asked Marie.

"Aye! Do tell!" agreed Lily.

"In a distant location, the existence of an impoverished unit of newborn children's slumber furniture,' said Molly quickly.

"In a distant location?" asked Marie, raising her eyebrows and looking quizzically to Lily.

"The existence of an impoverished unit of newborn children's slumber furniture?" asked Lily, exchanging the look of incredulity with Marie.

Remus and Sirius were grinning madly. Sirius because he thought Moly's song was a brilliant twister and Remus because he knew what it was.

"Away in a Manger!" he said.

"Yep," grinned Molly.

"Ah that was a brilliant game, and now I believe that it is time for bed." Said Lily.

* * *

**Yes well it is Christmas Eve everyone! YAY! And I got the idea for this in school with my friends. So I just had to do something with it.**

**I hope you liked It! I thought it was cute.**

**Ok well please review, as it is Christmas and that would be an awesome present. Ok, well until next time,**

**Keep a sharp eye ;)**

**Pupparoux**


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